I have clients who truly love their spouses. These spouses live with dementia, and their partners take care of them—most have placed their loved ones in lovely assisted living, just as I did with my husband. Many found me through word of mouth, often referred by fellow estate planning attorneys who don’t fully understand dementia and don’t know how I can get documents signed despite a diagnosis and the fear that family members are trying to harm them or take their money.
One of my clients wrote this:
We all have a spirit, dementia does not steal it.
I look for yours daily; I simply cannot feel it.
Where has your spirit gone, dear?
I see you, but you’re not here.
I look for yours daily; its absence I fear.
I miss your eyes, my love.
Can you see me through translucent eyes?
I look for yours daily; dementia eyes lie.
I miss your spirit and crave its tender touch.
I miss your lips, hands, arms, and such.
I look for yours daily, I love it so much.
I beg your spirit to come back, come back now.
I look for it daily; find it I must.
I look and look if only I knew how.
It is my privilege to work with people like this, ensuring that all their legal documents are in order so they can properly care for their spouse. I also make sure there’s a backup plan because, sadly, caregivers can get sick or even pass away before their loved one. If you love your spouse, give me a call so I can help you make sure there is always someone there to take care of them.
