There are women who, like spiders, trap and (maybe) kill their prey. I just spoke with some “kids” in their 60s, and this is what happened to their dad. Their mom had been sick for four years before she passed away. They had all celebrated their parents’ 73rd anniversary when she passed. The hospice nurse was there when it happened and immediately started calling their dad to “provide comfort.” Dad had congestive heart failure and needed some help, so he asked if she could be his nurse. Of course, she accommodated. One month later, they married in a confidential ceremony, so no one knew.
In the weeks and months after their mom died, their dad spoke less and less to his kids. He had never been one to spend hours on the phone with them, so it seemed normal. After the marriage, he was always “busy” or not feeling well enough to see them. The kids didn’t know that the hospice nurse had moved in. The few times they saw their dad, he met them at a restaurant.
When he passed away suddenly, 11 months after their mom, they found out about the marriage and that she had gone online and created Wills and a new Trust giving her everything. She had added herself as a joint tenant on the deed, so the house automatically passed to her. She had made him add her to all his bank accounts too. She was the beneficiary of his retirement accounts—basically, she got everything.
I referred them to a litigation attorney friend. If they pursue trying to undo this, it will be expensive, and they may lose. The friend I referred them to told me this was the woman’s fourth marriage, and it was suspected that she was marrying older, frail men and getting them to give her everything before they died. She was a suspected Black Widow. No one knew if she was using her knowledge to hasten their deaths.
The only way kids can prevent their parent from remarrying is to be aware. They should make sure they are the ones providing the comfort and be suspicious of a caregiver who stays in touch. Kids can’t stop their parents from remarrying, nor can they stop a parent who remarries from giving everything to the new spouse. However, when we have added the child as a Co-Trustee before the first spouse dies, and all the bank accounts are in the Trust, changing everything becomes much more difficult. The child will find out, the secrets—including the marriage—will be discovered, making it so much harder for the Black Widow to weave her web. If you want to protect your parents, give me a call.
