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September 15, 2024

Love, Dementia, and the Importance of a Backup Plan

I have clients who truly love their spouses. These spouses live with dementia, and their partners take care of them—most have placed their loved ones in lovely assisted living, just as I did with my husband. Many found me through word of mouth, often referred by fellow estate planning attorneys who don’t fully understand dementia and don’t know how I can get documents signed despite a diagnosis and the fear that family members are trying to harm them or take their money.

One of my clients wrote this:

We all have a spirit, dementia does not steal it.

I look for yours daily; I simply cannot feel it.

Where has your spirit gone, dear?

I see you, but you’re not here.

I look for yours daily; its absence I fear.

I miss your eyes, my love.

Can you see me through translucent eyes?

I look for yours daily; dementia eyes lie.

I miss your spirit and crave its tender touch.

I miss your lips, hands, arms, and such.

I look for yours daily, I love it so much.

I beg your spirit to come back, come back now.

I look for it daily; find it I must.

I look and look if only I knew how.

It is my privilege to work with people like this, ensuring that all their legal documents are in order so they can properly care for their spouse. I also make sure there’s a backup plan because, sadly, caregivers can get sick or even pass away before their loved one. If you love your spouse, give me a call so I can help you make sure there is always someone there to take care of them.

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Geisler Patterson Law


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