The holidays have felt bittersweet for me since my brother passed on Thanksgiving when I was 15. Each holiday season brings a quiet sadness, made deeper over the years as more loved ones have passed—my father just 10 months after my brother, and later my father-in-law, mother, mother-in-law, and friends. The sadness is always present, and sometimes it’s hard to share in the joy others feel during these times. I’ve learned to keep it private because I know that others may find it difficult to share in the sorrow. Most people want to focus on the happiness of the season, not the empty chairs.
I’ve read books on grief, taking in advice from psychologists and social workers, but often it seems like no one approach truly understands the unique journey each of us experiences in grief. The loss remains; the pain doesn’t fully fade. Some find meaning in honoring loved ones in memory, others in talking with a group, and still others in medication or simply the passage of time. Personally, I find solace in remembering the time I had with each of my family members. I allow myself a few moments to feel that sadness, then try to embrace the joy of each holiday.
For those of you who find this season difficult, I’m sending you warmth and understanding. I’m here if you need someone to talk to.
