It’s sad that we can’t always trust our family. Most financial elder abuse is perpetrated by a family member. They move in, take mom, dad, grandma or grandpa’s credit and debit cards, and use them. They often also get the elder to sign over power of attorney to them.
Sadly, stopping this kind of elder abuse is hard and expensive. An elder abuse restraining order costs nothing to file, but making sure it’s followed can be difficult. Thus, typically two other court actions are filed: a conservatorship and a petition for accounting by the agent acting under power of attorney.
Once you’re in court, the elder will have an attorney appointed to represent them, and often the court will appoint a private professional fiduciary to take over. The fiduciary will also have an attorney, and these attorneys will be paid from the elder’s funds.
I try to avoid going to court. My recommendation to any family member who becomes power of attorney is that they keep meticulous records and receipts. If you move in to help your parent, you pay them rent, buy your own groceries, and have them pay you as caregivers. You write down how much you’re being paid and track all the work you do. I know this adds a lot to an already difficult job, but if you do what I recommend, you’ll avoid spending thousands defending yourself. Families who follow this advice don’t end up in court.
If you have a thief for a family member, plan on going to court and stopping the bad actions. Remember, a diagnosis of dementia does not protect your loved one from the consequences of signing legal documents or giving away money. I file these court actions, and I can help.
