The headline caught my attention: “She promised her dad she would take care of her mom when he died, but after reading the Will, she reconsidered.” Naturally, I had to read more.
The article described a situation I’ve seen far too often—a mother left most of her estate to her son, the favorite child, despite the fact that he did nothing to help her. The daughter, who had promised her father to care for her mother, felt betrayed and began questioning that promise. The article also painted the mother as demanding and difficult, with no close relationship to her daughter.
No child should be expected to become a caregiver without fair compensation. While many children do take on this role out of love, the reality is that providing care—especially for an aging parent—is exhausting, both emotionally and physically. When I help families with their estate planning, I make sure we talk about these issues upfront.
💡 Some key considerations:
✅ Children who serve as caregivers should be compensated. It’s a demanding job that can take a toll on their own lives, careers, and finances.
✅ Parents should think carefully before treating children unequally in their estate plans. It’s not uncommon for a parent to have a favorite, but favoritism in a Will often leads to resentment, family division, and even legal challenges based on claims of undue influence.
✅ A care plan should not automatically assume a child will take on caregiving responsibilities. Planning should be realistic and ensure that professional care is an option when needed.
At the end of the day, I honor my clients’ wishes—but I also make sure they fully understand the consequences of their decisions. If I were that daughter, I’d rethink taking care of my mother too.
If you want to plan for what happens when you pass and ensure your care needs are met without burdening your children, give me a call.
