As the wife of someone who died from Alzheimer’s, I had a hard time seeing how bad my husband was. I missed the signs because, like the frog in the pot, I did not notice the water starting to boil. Only a few people mentioned noticing he was forgetting words, not keeping up with work, or neglecting his volunteer duties.
There were two friends brave enough to tell me about some problems he was having. They also shared some gossip they heard. It was painful to hear this. At first, I denied the truth in these stories and was defensive. These friends were there; they continued to gently tell me the truth and help me see that something was wrong.
If you are that friend, be brave. One technique is to say, “Something odd happened the other day,” or when your friend asks if something is “normal,” to say, “That does seem off.” You may need to be like the friend who sat me down and told me about all the things that my husband was missing during choir practice and how he had been messing up. That friend listened to my argument that he was fine and showed me how he was slipping. I am forever grateful for that friend.
If you are worried about your loved one, give me a call. The sooner you face the devastating truth, the better you will be able to handle it.
