Calls come in odd waves. This week, I had several calls regarding burial. Each was from someone in the family upset about who was going to be able to decide. Children were upset because the long-estranged spouse was going to decide (the couple was still married but had lived apart for over 20 years). Unfortunately, the law gives a spouse priority and has no exception for estranged but not divorced spouses. Another was upset because their dad had named his girlfriend as his agent for health care; she has taken a lot of his money, but the person named as the agent gets to decide. Then there was the never-married lady whose friend wanted to bury her but was told that the coroner (she had a heart attack at home) would have to locate relatives.
The only person I could help was the friend, who knew that the single lady had no living siblings, parents, or nieces and nephews. I was able to help her file in court to get permission to bury her friend. The others would not be able to prevail in court as the law is harsh.
If you want to make sure the person who decides your burial or cremation plans is the person you want and makes the plans you want, YOU MUST NAME THEM AS YOUR AGENT FOR HEALTH CARE!! If you have religious or other preferences, you should put them in writing in this document.
Advance Health Care Directives are my shortest documents, and you can get them from numerous places for free. This is the MOST important legal document as it tells everyone WHO you want to make the difficult decisions when you cannot, WHAT you want: feeding tubes or not, CPR or not, etc., and the person you name is the one who decides on burial or cremation arrangements.
If you are 18 or over and don’t have this legal document, give me a call.
