This is a tough one for many caregivers. I can exhibit hypersexual behaviors as an individual with dementia, and these are among the most challenging and sensitive symptoms for caregivers to manage. My behaviors can range from increased sexual remarks and innuendos to more overt actions like fondling myself in public or inappropriate touching.
The root of these behaviors often lies in the damage dementia causes to my brain’s frontal lobes, which are responsible for judgment, impulse control, and social behavior. As these areas deteriorate, I may lose the ability to recognize social boundaries and norms, leading to sexual expressions at inappropriate times or places.
For my spouse and family caregivers, witnessing these behaviors can be particularly distressing. It’s not uncommon for my spouse to feel a mix of sadness, embarrassment, and even resentment as they grapple with the drastic changes in my behavior. In cases where I do not recognize my spouse or family member and make sexual advances towards them, the emotional toll can be even greater. It’s important to understand that these behaviors are a symptom of the disease and not a reflection of my character.
When families struggle with this issue, there are no easy answers. Conservatorship can force me into memory care, but they aren’t good at managing hypersexuality, and if I act out in any way, I may be kicked out, so this may not be the answer. I cannot control my behavior, so I won’t even obey a judge’s orders. Finding a neurologist who can help with medication that can manage this behavior is critical. In order to help families manage this, the Advance Health Care Directive (Health Care Power of Attorney) should include authority to authorize psychotropic medications. It might even be helpful for a loved one to have me sign the special power of attorney for psychiatric help. As an Elder Law Attorney, I make sure that families are able to make all the legal decisions needed to protect those living with dementia.
