As parents grow older and one passes, the remaining spouse is alone. Loneliness is hard. Many crave company. We all have heard the stories of younger people (typically women) marrying wealthy older men for their money. Sadly, those stories are true. Often, I get calls from children concerned that their parent is being groomed by someone younger who they believe plans to marry their parent—who is suffering from dementia or a terminal illness—for their money. The child wants to protect their parent and, of course, their inheritance.
Unfortunately, there is nothing that can be done. Unless someone is under a conservatorship, they are presumed to have the legal capacity to marry. You will have to wait until they pass to contest their new estate plan and prove undue influence. The only way to prevent this is to do everything you can to make sure your remaining parent does not get lonely.
Most Estate Disputes Aren’t Over Money
Families can fight for years over things that are worth almost nothing.
Not the house. Not the bank account. It’s usually the furniture, jewelry, collections, and keepsakes—items with little monetary value but significant emotional weight.
What makes these conflicts hard isn’t the item itself. It’s the history attached to it. Old dynamics, unresolved feelings, and unspoken expectations tend to surface through things that, on paper, shouldn’t matter at all.
This is also why estate planning isn’t just documents and signatures.
I recommend that my clients write a letter detailing who they want to get these sentimental items. I am often asked to write this in a formal will. The reason I don’t is because of a case I fought over Mom’s wedding ring. She had stated in her will that it would go to her oldest son. He was a confirmed bachelor, so when her grandson told her he wanted to propose, she gave him the ring. A ton of money was spent only to discover she did not have the ring when she died, so it did not go according to her will. Wills only control what you own when you die. The son assumed the will controlled. I know she is not the only person to give away sentimental items during her lifetime. Making it formal leads to the assumption that the item must go as the will states, an assumption which is not true.
If you have sentimental items, I will help you with a letter that can prevent these family fights, so give me a call.
