I just saw the movie Barbie and I LOVED IT. I played with the “original” Barbie, a hand-me-down from my cousin Trudie. My mom thought she was valuable, but she became weird Barbie if not before, surely after she was handed down to my daughter.
As Barbie and Ken entered the “real world,” they found that unlike Barbie’s play world where Barbies can do anything and women rule, in the real world, men were in the positions of power. Like all movies, it is a bit of a funhouse mirror. Yet, last night I read an article written by a young woman lawyer who wrote about the pressure on women to “Do it all”: be good attorneys, good wives, and good moms. “Somehow a standard has been set that women must be a rockstar mom, and a rockstar attorney at the same time—while wearing heels and smiling.”
As women, we all feel like we are not enough. I hear it all the time from caregivers, especially women. 2 out of 3 people diagnosed with dementia are women, and over 75% of caregivers are women, so we are bearing the brunt of dementia. To all the women who are in the real world as rockstar caregivers, daughters, mothers, wives, sisters, and aunts: you are doing it all! Perhaps one day “Barbie” will find a cure; in the meantime, “Caregiver Barbie” truly does it all in heels and with a smile. (Oh, and there are also Kens out there who take care of wives, moms, and sisters, and while they don’t wear heels, they certainly also do it all.)
If you are caring for a loved one with dementia, give me a call. You want to make sure you have all the legal planning in place, and if it is possible to get help from Medi-Cal or Veteran’s benefits to pay for care, that you are able to get the help without spending all your money. Don’t assume you have too much money, or that there is nothing you can do. I help families with assets get help every day.
