There’s a woman in my mirror,
And she looks a lot like me.
Though there are lines around her eyes,
And her hair is wild and free.
She is plumper than myself,
And she is definitely gray.
Did I miss the day this happened?
Has she always been this way?
Misidentification of reflections, my spouse, and my children is a fascinating yet distressing symptom of my dementia. I imagine looking into a mirror and seeing a stranger staring back at me. My brain can no longer process the reflection as my own image, leading to fear, anxiety, and even aggression towards the perceived intruder in my home.
It is important to update legal documents before this is an everyday occurrence for me. The fears caused by not recognizing myself or others frequently result in a refusal to accept help. When you wait too long, your only option is to go to court, file for conservatorship, and force me to get help. This is always expensive, messy, and humiliating. A probate conservatorship is a legal proceeding which takes away my rights to make my own decisions. The person appointed as my conservator will have to account for every penny they spend and ask for permission to do many things like sell a house or make end-of-life decisions.
It is not too late to plan even at this stage, but it requires a lot more effort to make sure I am able to express my wishes and accept help. Don’t wait too long; give my family a call and start planning NOW.
