I spent many holidays at the care facility with my husband and, on some occasions, with my mother-in-law as well. The staff always put in a heartfelt effort to decorate and create a festive atmosphere, preparing traditional foods like turkey, ham, and latkes. Family members are encouraged to join their loved ones for a meal, or even to have a holiday meal in the facility.
For our family, a full meal at the facility was overwhelming. When visiting my mother-in-law, we would spend time with her, then gather separately for our meal, which felt easier for all of us. When my husband was in care, I chose to visit him alone, wanting to shield my children from the difficult memories of seeing him so changed—frail and no longer able to engage in conversation. I knew he wouldn’t remember the details of these holidays, and I wanted to hold onto the times when he did.
The moments I shared with him there were precious. I often joined the staff for meals, sometimes bringing food to share with them. I hold deep gratitude for the caregivers who gave up time with their own families to care for my husband and other residents. They truly are heroes.
To those of you spending holidays with loved ones in care, I send my warmest support. And if you need help with the legal documents necessary to ensure your loved ones’ care, please feel free to reach out.
