I’m currently helping a client navigate care for both of his parents. His father was rushed to the hospital with sepsis after visiting his doctor for what he thought was just a cold. His mother was in the waiting room, and when his father mentioned to the office staff that she couldn’t drive, they made sure she was able to go with him to the hospital. They also contacted their son for support.
It took two hours for my client to arrive at the hospital. When he got there, his father was already in the ICU, but his mother was nowhere to be found. After a frantic search, he found her—sitting in the ER waiting room with a kind stranger.
This stranger had recognized his mother’s confusion and brought her inside after finding her wandering the parking lot, looking for her car. His mother, who has undiagnosed advanced dementia, had no idea where she was or how to get home. She couldn’t even say her name. Thankfully, this good Samaritan (who was familiar with dementia from caring for her own mother) stayed with her for over two hours.
My client was shocked—he hadn’t realized just how bad his mother’s condition had become. His father had shielded him from the reality—grateful that his wife could still recognize their son, he never mentioned that she was incontinent, easily lost, and couldn’t be left alone. He didn’t want to be a burden.
If this sounds familiar—if you suddenly find yourself responsible for both parents and realize one has advanced dementia—give me a call. I can help you figure out the next steps.
